“Who am I?”
I immediately found myself clothed in beautiful silk robes with a similarly dressed woman in my arms falling through the void. A large oriental-looking woman’s face was beneficently smiling down upon our decent, her face like the sun shining down upon us. I was then standing in front of a huge bell in a Hokusai landscape in the body of a very old man.
I won’t go into all the trials and tribulations of navigating the unconscious; suffice it to say it took a long time to get past the many distractions. The key was a strong will to get to the source and avoiding any attachment whatsoever to the parade of phantasms. Eventually I noticed what looked like a receding star field like the old computer screen savers, and used it as a reference that I would focus on getting my attention behind, presumably to its source. After some time practicing this technique, I developed a strange baseball-bat-shaped rod of light rooted in my forehead. It was almost immediately covered by what I can only describe as coral-reef-like creatures glomming on to it. I remember swinging it around a bit and, being true to my detachment regime, compassionately allowing them to stay; I still wonder if that was wise. This rod of light — I thought of it at the time as my “cone of attention” — would play an important role later in another body.
At the beginning of a session I would usually find myself in what appeared to be a Hell-like dimension. I visited and relived many historic atrocities, sometime as an observer, at other times deep in the blood lust. Luckily, and definitely by Grace, I could usually extricate myself by remaining fearlessly detached; what I thought of as “buoyant ascension” would follow. The worlds above the Hell realms had their own temptations and tests. I remember spending hundreds of years as an arrow-straight gigantic cedar. Another memorable event, aside from the opulent Grecian temples, beautiful women, hurricane dances and the like, was a moment where a pleasant crowd surrounded me. I was lying on a table with a thin very tall giant looking down on me about to cut off my head. My only thought was to remember to smile!
As the ascension proceeded the beings I encountered became more and more odd. At one point I was a quasar; a motherly nearby star Goddess told me that rhythm was all there is and her partner told me above all to be beautiful. Later I found myself with the body of a Godzilla-like creature accompanied by a Nordic goddess. We were standing in front of a large pillar of blue light. I laughed uproariously and stepped into the column of light. I immediately found myself seated in a circle with eight other human-looking beings. The woman seated next to me had very long, flowing hair; she petted my head, telling me to calm down and relax. I didn’t stay but a moment before launching myself up into space.
I was then in the body of a Dragon zooming around enjoying the power of that body. I could see the circle of people far below. My body was a dragon but it had some strange features. I had a single large headlight like the search light on a train and my head was sort of fuzzy like a caterpillar. My consciousness was like the captain of a ship in that there were many subordinates aboard. I ordered an “Alignment” to the woe of the “crew” and swung the light, my “cone of attention” in and down the spine of the Dragon. What I saw looked like triangles of light coming together as the body straightened; it felt like fuel rods being pushed into a nuclear reactor. I recognized the triangles taking the form of the Sri Yantra as fire came shooting up from its center towards me. I yelled “abort” but it was too late. I woke the next morning with a splitting headache.
As miraculous as all that sounds it is at least within the bounds of the symbolic known. Obviously it was a Kundalini awaking of sorts. What occurred several times after that initiation was truly startling. After a short hiatus, and having healed from the ensuing Bell’s palsy, I started into a fresh session. Before getting very deep, a golden triangle appeared floating in the air before me in my bedroom. From the triangle a thin beam of multicolored light was shining on my forehead. It was only about a millimeter thick, the color was odd in that it looked like flecks of all the colors of the rainbow. It had a tight beam and speckle like a laser. I slowly turned my head to look up the beam with my left eye. What I saw looked like a giant opal, the most beautiful living opal you can imagine. And then it was gone.
I spent a few more nights swimming through the sun and sticking my head into bubbles to find people inside acting out various dramas on earth. I found myself in a huge room sitting in a chair floating in the center of what looked like millions of television tubes again linked to a myriad of people’s perspectives. Then deep one night an embryonic figure appeared floating before me with the same multi-colored laser linking our foreheads. He was speaking to me, I could see his mouth moving but I couldn’t hear anything. I said “I can’t hear you,” and a moment later the light went horizontal and the rainbow became distinct.
A few days later I decided to see if I could recall the fellow. I concentrated on the space before me and slowly a rainbowed cloud appeared and suddenly a beam lit up. There was no one at the other end as far as I could tell. I yelled to my new girlfriend to come see but the effort dissipated the beam. That night I found myself in a sort of graduation celebration. I was in a beautiful chorus linked with other beings in a formation like that of a head of wheat. Close by was a dais of sorts with bridges at either end. There was a being sitting on a throne in the center and a dozen or so others standing on the bridges. I remember we all held our breath as a baby being held by one of the consorts let out a cry. Then to our relief the throned figure took the baby and held it high and we all broke into ecstatic song. I was offered a new role as an androgynous being. I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant but I declined the offer because I had just fallen in love and felt she would suffer with my passage. There was a woman advocating for me with the authority to keep some kind of channel open for me but it was apparently denied and a vegetative web grew quickly to obscure my vision. Next I was flying through space with a cute cherub who guided me to a flower in which I plunged to find myself lying in bed.
