Jai34bahadur
Tantra is not about worship in the manner of religion. tantra is the ancient word for "science." The Buddhist rajas had vast tantric universities which attempted to teach the science of psychiatry. However, it looked from the outside identical to religion, because the ritual and means were the same. But the "science" was the understanding that one was transforming the mind, using recognized, and usual means. The transformation produced a mind more free of vritti, and klesha, ultimately samskara.
That is to say that the practice of tantra used the means and ritual of religion, but the product or fruit was liberation from habit, especially bad habit, also, habitually producing bad karma, and finally, getting bound or trapped in repetitive bad habit such that one felt their lives were out of control.
In tantra it was not taught to rid the mind of any type of thought, and one did not divide the mind into good and bad thoughts. Instead, one understood that the mind was a canvas and all thought was glorious as thought was the subtle shade of color needed for the full expression of creativity.
Tantra taught that to accept ones thinking was to allow the mind to rise and fall like waves. To not accept the mind however places more power into thoughts and the waves of the mind become bigger and more out of control. Acceptance allows the broader base of mind to be larger, and so small thoughts are reabsorbed more quickly and effortlessly.
The varieties of tantras are vast, and there's a tantra for everybody. It may be that the Shakta tantras are not exactly what serves you best. You may be a Ganesh or Siva or Vishnu tantric. If the femenine drives you to distraction then perhaps Ganesha is more to your speed. Perhaps working with Mahaganapati or Ucchista Ganapati would serve you more ideally.
Manblunder teaches these deities. Maybe strike up a conversation with someone there like Manblunder Krishna.
The point of tantra is not to fight ones mind but to accept, and reabsorb ones samskaras or perpetual ups and downs, so that one can smooth out and feel comfortable.
On the other hand, some meditation techniques like Transcendental Meditation (legit teaching) can teach one to transcend all thought.
Also, try the Devipuram beginner's regime and see how one feels afterwards. What you think today, you may forget and feel is shallow tomorrow. Give yourself room to transform, and take the time to transform by using the tested means that others have used and received great results with.
I have enjoyed great benefits with Swami Amrita's practices. I am not expert. And just beginning. But I have developed some control over my mind especially through mandala one of the beginner's classes. The Mahaganapati Tarpanam especially. I am very much looking forwards to mandala two on Bala Tripura.
But back to my original thought. The tantras were taught as psychiatry to help balance the mind, so as to prevent ongoing negative klesha and vritti. We improve our quality of life through tantric means. Tantra is the science of betterment of quality of life. For all with whom one is connected.
One doesn't have to practice every minute, or even hours every day. A half an hour a day, or whatever is comfortable, will make a change for the better. Just one step after another and one will get where they are going. If even slow. Just continue.
