And I used to go into meditation again, and again for the first one or two days nothing happened. And the third day, some peculiar, pleasant sensation started at the bottom of my spine. And as it was going up, it was becoming a little warm here, just very pleasant, and it came to the heart center. I had a feeling of very open and very loving and kind and compassionate. And when it started coming here, it suddenly felt as if I was sitting on the top of a volcano and the lava was pushing out of it and I was being pushed out of myself with great force. Tremendous amount of force and I was being carried away with it and God knows where. And I was scared, scared stiff. The first time it was an explosion, this time it wasn't an explosion but tremendous current which I couldn't stand.
And then I did a prayer to Saraswatī. The prayer was:
sarasvatī namastubhyaṃ
varade kāmarūpiṇī
vidyārambhaṃ kariṣhyāmi...
And then I told her: "Look I have been praying to you all my life. In one form or another I have been in search of truth. Why don't you come and help me? I'm in trouble." And suddenly She appeared in front of me. Very beautiful, standing in a white lotus, with a zari border white cotton sari. And She was most beautiful. She was asking, smiling: "What are you afraid of? I'm giving you an experience, take it." "No, no, I can't take this kind of an experience, please". Then She smiled: "OK, don't worry, whenever the force tries to come to this level, think of me and I'll come to you and I'll control the energy."
It was thus that my friendship with the Goddess started happening and I got connected to her.
And She, sometimes, not always but every time I used to sit for meditation it wouldn't go the same way but [unclear] cycle about 30-40% around that, you know I measure these things, what foolishness to measure. And She used to give me books to read in meditation. I used to read those books. By then I became a member of Bombay University Library Sanskrit Division. I used to go there and pick some book randomly and the very book I used to read before it was the book I used to pick up at random and exactly the same thing. And then She gave me an experience of my past lives, several of them. I don't want to go into that, it is a little unnecessary. And then I used to be like a little child, holding her finger. She used to walk on the rainbows and wherever she put her foot, a lotus is born under her feet. Just little beautiful things. She used to take me to various kinds of lokas and I used to see various visions.
I used to wonder how can I make this knowledge available to the world, can't I move forward in time and talk to a scientist yet to be born and bring the knowledge he has got back to this time and make science go a little forward, fast-forward you know? She said: "You try." Then I went and this fellow was talking and I couldn't understand anything. Then She laughed and said: "See, what you can know is proportionate to what you know already, so you have to expand your container before you can... So quantum leaps are not possible, you got to grow adiabatically. So I'm giving an experience, take it, don't worry about others."
So, this is how the spiritual journey began and I remained connected to Her. Not as often as I wish now, but whenever a real need is there She's there to help me.
