Quiet down & listen
Ask loving couples – The secret of their success is: they listen attentively when the other speaks. This is true of all relationships. Father – Daughter, Mother – Son, Boy– Girl.
Why should I listen? I don’t know how bad I am. To know that, I should listen to someone who tells me. How else will I know?
Why don’t I listen?
1. I feel I am not doing anything by listening, so I jump in.
2. I think I know what they are saying.
3. I don’t realize that listening – passively – is a solution itself.
Why is listening a solution? When someone genuinely listens, they pay attention, we get attention, a form of currency. Receiving attention nourishes us; makes us feel yes I am understood – enhances self-worth.
What can I do? It has become a habit for me not to listen. Break the habit. How?
Quiet down and listen to yourself, just before you are about to jump in and interrupt. Worried that you will forget what you have to say? Ask how to wait, note down a point quietly, and listen again. Observe yourself as you walk away in anger or begin thinking of something.
Good luck and better friends! Payback guaranteed.
Amṛtānanda Nātha Saraswatī
2014
