Shri matre namah 🙏🏼
I began as a devotee of maa kali. But she has taken me towards maa Lalita and now i have desire to get initiated into both kali kula and sri vidya. I understand that all the attributes we assign to ourselves are superficial and atma is formless, genderless. All attachments are only in our mind and we are only constantly trying to overcome it through various means.
But my body is attracted to men and i am afraid of approaching guruji for deeksha. I fear rejection. I have a partner of many years. I also think that all the love and sexual feelings we have are also a form of maa, just like anger and other feelings. Still, i am afraid. I don’t wanna get married to a woman or have any kids. I also sometimes feel that i have no gender and i am all genders. But I am scared that guruji may reject me for this reason. I am a doctor by profession and i want to also continue in this profession for now and don’t want to take Sanyaas.
can someone please guide me?
