Need guidance.

GVK

I am experiencing erotic thoughts about Devi, and as a result, I also feel guilt and fear. These conflicting emotions are creating significant inner turmoil.

I hold Devi as my everything and do not wish to compromise that devotion. However, the guilt and fear arising from these thoughts are disturbing my peace of mind.

I would be grateful for guidance on how to approach this situation—what attitude or outlook I should cultivate.

Thank you.

nilasara

Part of tantra is about the balance of male and female.

The erotic part of the mind is the most important. Having children is life itself. How that's going to happen without erotic thought?

Eschew this bogus antisexuality, and eschew this guilt about feeling. Feel! Live! Love!

The deity is not separate from your personality.

Don't sweat your nature. Be natural.

Read Swami Amrita's books.

GVK

nilasara

Thank you so much for your guidance. If possible please elaborate/guide on how to be unabashedly open with my Goddess about it.

Thank you.

nilasara

GVK

The God/Goddess are within you. There is no place where they are not integrated. Fear not. The deities are more sophisticated than you'll ever be.

GVK

nilasara

Is it fine/possible to dm you?

GVK

nilasara

How to DM here

GVK

nilasara

Tried but not sure how to post….

Pushpak

nilasara

hey could you send rashmi mala audio of guruji to this email

pushpak.gudela23@gmail.com

Pushpak

nilasara

Well, there is no need to be rude. You could have simply said No. But that's okay. Have a good day.

Pushpak

https://amritananda-natha-saraswati.blogspot.com/2016/04/sharing-tantras-secret-knowledge.html

keeping this article in mind, I have asked for rashimala mantras. Even you have also received it from Janicedevi in Jul 24,2025, accordingly in this particular link.

https://forum.amritananda.org/d/749-rashmi-mala-audio/2

I don't understand the need to be judgemental. I was being simple, clear and straight forward. If you want to share the knowledge you can else you don't have to share it. Neither I'm forcing you nor to compel you to give it. If it is meant to reach me, it will reach me anyways through any other means. I don't mean to offend you in any possible ways. If anything guru has taught, it is slience and non judgement. I have no desire to even explain this to you, but since you think I'm passive agressive trolling and I can't allow myself to labeled like that, so I'm replying to you.

Anyways have a great day!

nilasara

Pushpak

off topic. thanks for participating at Amritananda. What would you do with your uninitiated rashimimala?

Pushpak

nilasara

Well, it's like asking what do you do with the knowledge offered? If it comes to that, why this forum, isn't it to share the knowledge and become free?

If you have read enough articles of guruji, you could clearly state that he wanted 95% of sadhana to be done at home through online, where there are no walls.

Guruji mentions in the articles that life itself is devi. Devi lives inside me and is me. I have life so I'm intiated.

nilasara

Pushpak

Topic already covered

https://forum.amritananda.org/d/749-rashmi-mala-audio/19

nilasara

I am not a moderator but if I was I would close this thread. Janice said she didn't want to keep emailing rashmimala way back when. That thread should also be closed.

This is not really a board for window shopping Sri Vidya. People are supposed to come here and learn Amrita's knowledge, which is totally awesome, unique, and wonderful. But instead it's a bunch of window shoppers.

I was an asshole. And it's true. I have no reason to be. I am no mod. I have no stake in the board or how it's run. I just try to help people. But giving you rashmimala is not helping you except to confuse you further.

I should have toldyou I was unable to help you, but I got confused with regards to the OP and you and felt that thing were going off the rails.

Why don't you go hang out at Manblunder where they kill you with kindness and too much information.

Pushpak

nilasara

I wish I could clarify few things with you. I'm not a window shopper. I genuinely practice the teachings of Guru Amritananda natha. I was initiated into panchadashi mantra and other sri vidya mantras. if you want to know how? check out this link,

https://forum.amritananda.org/d/100-the-practice-of-the-9-sri-vidya-mantras-by-guruji

"Guruji stated that a valid initiation can take place through a direct presence of a Guru, his voice audio, or his internet posting".

And I have met guruji 3 times in my dreams. I don't care if you believe me or not, I will leave that to your intuition. If you have done your sadhana properly, you would understand if what I'm saying is truth or false. I even had few experiences with devi herself, which I would not like to reveal it.

I'm not much of chatter neither likes to interact with people much in the community. I have been following his teachings since day 1 of 2026. If you are really initiated by guruji in physical presense. You should have also followed his ideals, which can be clearly seen, if you go through the below link.

https://amritananda-natha-saraswati.blogspot.com/2017/01/purpose.html

If you had studied autobiography of guru, He specifically stated to spread the knowledge to the one who desire the most and wanted to do it at free of cost, unlike what is going on in the present society. If you are really a student of Guru amritananda natha saraswati, you wouldn't with hold the information, which would be against the ideals of the guru which you have been following since i dont know when.

if you are an initiated disciple of guru, the only thing guru wanted as guru diksha is to spread knowledge to the ones who desire the most without discrimination. I'm saying all this because knowledge should never be hide from the people who desire the most and guru has done exactly that. Maybe I hope you will understand about it.